Marriage is simple. In fact, I think almost everything that matters in life is simple. Even the Bible and Christianity are simple. Politics and economics are very simple. The reason is because at the root of everything that matters is a defined relationship, and there is nothing complicated about relationships. The how-tos are built into us as children.
As children we wanted friends. Sometimes we approached someone the way Anne Shirley did and bluntly invited the person to be best friends. Usually, however, we just slowly became friends with other kids by spending time with them. In class we talked and sat by each other. At recess we ran and raced and tagged. We laughed and joked. We learned to only say the things that made people laugh.
Relationships ended when our feelings were hurt or if someone was mean to us. If they insulted us in front of people we avoided being around them. If they smelled bad we avoided them. If they were boring we found someone who was interesting. The people we chose to be friends with were the ones who made us feel good and were nice to us.
I want to submit to you that things are no different now than when we were kids.
I am twenty-five years old. I’ve been married for almost seven years. I have a two year old girl, and my wife is pregnant with our second daughter. I’ve been a teacher in a Bible school for four years, and I still don’t like to be around smelly people. I will not hang out with people that insult me in front of others. I choose to spend time with the people that make me feel good. I talk to the people who laugh at my jokes and tell jokes that make me laugh. I make and break relationships the same way I did as a seven year old, and it is not selfish or wrong. It is not immature. The principles of relationships are just that simple and universal.
I plan to blog here about relationships. I’ll get really specific at times. Sometimes I will tell stories. I also want to hear and post your stories. Welcome to marriageissimple.com. I hope that we can help each other learn to relate to people and make our marriages not just last but be incredible.